Friday, December 7, 2012

The new Boxing Day








We live in a marvellous world where,among other things, packaging has been elevated to a fine art. Self seal envelopes, styrofoam insulation, bubble wrap and vacuum packs are but a few of the modern techniques of enclosure.

 And we have tried to apply the same techniques to Christmas.

The new Boxing Day is to wrap and box the wonderful story of Christmas into a package called "Happy Holidays" and put it under
the same tree as "Happy Hanukkah", "Happy Turkey Day", "Happy Birthday" and happy everything else.

Whatever you do DON'T GET SERIOUS about the Christmas message. That would never do.

We have Christmas in a VACUUM sealed package where every thing to do with faith, Christ, Saviour of the World and Son of God has been VACUUMED out.

Among the many boxes you may have under your tree this month don't try and put the Son of God in one. The only package He ever had was the womb of the Virgin Mary. Thereafter to be revealed to the world as a sinless Saviour and shortly to return in Power as Messiah, Lord of All.

Start worshiping Him NOW for we shall surely all bow before Him THEN.

Jubilate.

Ian

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Christmas from circumfernece to centre.











1945 was not a good Christmas for me.

Pat Pitchfork, a precocious seven year from across the street, informed me that there was no Santa. I stoutly responded that there must be a Santa because when he came to our house he always ate the cookie and drank the milk that we left out for him.

Pat scornfully informed me that it was my dad that was playing a trick on me. It was HE who ate the cookie and drank the milk not Santa.

Later that day my older sister, Anne, confirmed the dread story that Father Christmas was a hoax.

I guess at the tender age of five I was learning how to distinguish between the believable and the verifiable.

So, Father Christmas had his beard pulled off by Pat Pitchfork (an apt name for her), but nearly 70 years later the Christmas story of the birth of Christ only grows richer, stronger and more beautiful to my heart and that, my friends, is the story that matters.

Jubilate.

Ian

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Christmas from circumference to centre.School for Santas







As we saw yesterday Santa Claus has become an industry.

It's not enough to don a red suit, cap and false beard; these days, to be a bona fide Santa, one needs a Santa Diploma.

And you can get one if you attend a Santa School.

Here are some of the 'do' and "don'ts' for Santa.

1) Don't forget the names of the reindeers.
2) Don't over do the "Ho,Ho's" It's three or "Ho, Ho Hello!"
3) Don't make firm promises to the kids. When it doesn't happen they lose their faith in Santa.
4) For really difficult questions:  "I'll ask Mrs Claus"
5) I don't go down chimney's anymore. I get my elves to open the doors or windows.
6) "How old are you?"  answer  "Really, really old. So old I've forgotten."
7) Always use breath mints.
8) No drinking liquor on the job.
9) "Do I know Rudolf?" "Of course, but this year he is in the stable with a bad cold."
10) If you can't grow a real beard use beards made of dyed Yak hair. No cotton wool. The kids know it's fake.
11) Use a good deodorant.
12) No talking about Jesus. We are not in the religion business.

That last rule reflects the absurdity of the theater.

From the first Saint Nicholas, a passionate follower of Christ, we now have his modern counter part, Santa Claus, the patron Saint of Goodies.

Jubilate.

Ian

Monday, December 3, 2012

We interrupt our series. Kate is pregnant.





Kate Middleton, Prince William Pic

The timing could not be more appropriate. As the Advent Season is upon us, so news came from the Palace that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting.

It would have been difficult to keep it a secret since Kate has been entered into hospital with a severe attack of morning sickness.
There will be rejoicing across the Commonwealth tonight  that another heir to the throne will be born and the succession is secure to the fourth generation.

This is the first time in a hundred and fifty years that there will have been a reigning monarch with three succeeding heirs in line for her throne, Charles, William and Royal Baby.

Matterless the sex of the child, the law of primogenitureship will apply. This year, by act of parliament, the first child of the King or Queen, girl or boy, will inherit the crown.

Will it be Queen Elizabeth 3rd or King William 4th?

Wait and see but, until then:

 "God Save the King."

Jubilate.

Ian

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Christmas: From Circumference to Centre








We will start this season of Peace and Goodwill at it's outer fringes.

The first Santa's are already in the malls and parades; Christmas seems to come earlier these days.

From the legend of the first Saint Nicklaus in the middle ages we now have a global army of venerable look-alikes.

In fact, a few years ago these gentlemen banded together and founded a union:
"The Amalgamated order of Real Bearded Santas"  ( Contrasted with the cotton wool and designer bearded  wanna-be's)
Membership grew to well over 2,000 ably led by Chief Santa Tim Connaghan.

All was peaceful in Santa ville until a rival, Santa Nick Trolli, appeared on the scene.

The most recent Santa convention in California turned ugly with a great deal of Santa shoving, threats and un-santa like language.

Then civil war broke out among the Santas.

This has resulted in a new organization "The Fraternal order of Real Bearded Santas". Lawyers are being hired and who knows where it will all end?

Not to worry. December is here. Santa's in their thousands have retired to their malls and grottoes to pursue their calling.

War will be resumed next summer which is Santa's slack time.

Then the devil (Old Nick) will probably find work for Saint Nick's idle hands.

Jubilate.

Ian