Yes it is 2017 and the witches of America have united to expel Donald Trump from office. They are ahead of the Democrats who are waiting until 2020 to vacate him from the White House.
The witches can't wait that long.
On Friday they held vigils in hundreds of locations to chant and to cast spells against Trump's presidency. They intend to continue their satanic ritual every crescent moon until he is gone.
Michael Hughes, the head warlock, has written the rubric for all the witches in pagandom to recite. It runs like this:
"Bind Donald Trump, so that his malignant works may fail utterly and so that he shall not break our polity, usurp our liberty, or fill our minds with hate confusion, fear and despair"
This incantation has to be said while a candle burns with Trump's name carved on it and then his picture has to be burned by the same candle for good measure.
Not surprisingly the evangelical church has put out a call for Christians to rise up in faith to counter-act the bippity-boppity-boo.
And so the battle of the Bible versus the broomstick is underway.
The outcome is a forgone conclusion for, as one Pastor has said:
"The name of Lucifer has never prevailed against the Name of Jesus and never will."
Don't forget to lift up Donald Trump in prayer on the next "Horned Moon Night". Checking my calendar I see that is March 26th.